coffee for the apocalypse

First of all, holy shit. How cute was my post from December? “Ooh, new year, new us. Start being the best “you” you can!” Wow, what kind of weird ass parallel universe did we fall into?

January was supposed to be amazing and full of positivity. Well… I found out I was pregnant in early January but the tests eventually faded away to nothing. It was very early but I felt the loss super hard. It officially ended on Jan 16th at around 6/7 weeks.

My sister in law was expecting a baby in February but was admitted for pre-eclampsia around January 13th. On the 15th she gave birth via c-section to a beautiful baby girl who is happy and healthy and perfect. That same day my sister in law was diagnosed with stage 4b aggressive cervical cancer. They can attempt to treat it but it will probably come back. Her five year survival rate is low.

In February my SIL turned 32. Her new baby got RSV and had to be in the hospital. She is great now though and thriving despite being a month early. She is a bright spot and a blessing (I’m not religious but I’m going to throw the word miracle out there) in the midst of all of this.

And now, of course, the world is locking down because we have a global pandemic going on. Nearly everyone in my family is elderly or immune compromised. I have been trying to tell them to stay in the fucking house. My anxiety is at an all time high. I got sick at the end of February and am just now consistently fever/chills free but my gallbladder is acting up and my salivary glands swell every time I eat.

So what am I doing now? Attempting to stay calm and focused enough to read the giant pile of books that I have waiting for me while staying inside, cooking healthy meals, and homeschooling my kids. I will try to keep going, staying positive and sane. I will try to post about what I’m reading.

My Nanny would be 111 years old today, St Patrick’s Day. Nanny made it to 100 and I still miss her. During the 1918 flu pandemic Nanny was the same age as my daughter is now during this one. The similarities and differences between the two times are numerous and I could ponder them for days.

Please, if you can, stay home and practice social distancing. I know many of you have to work outside of the house. I especially applaud grocery/pharmacy and healthcare workers. You guys are keeping it all running and the nation should recognize your contributions and sacrifices!

Everyone else, if at all possible, just stay inside. Buy what you need but please don’t hoard! Protect yourself and think of others like the elderly and immune compromised. I swear next St Patty’s day will be an absolute blast but just calm it down for now.

Please.